


The Birth of Harry Potter as told By Sirius Black with Addendum by Remus Lupin

by buttsbeyondbutts



Series: Wolfstar Fix Fics [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Baby Harry, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Flashbacks, Guilt, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Humor, Language, M/M, Marauders' Era, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 10:27:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5124167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttsbeyondbutts/pseuds/buttsbeyondbutts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Well, not to give anything away but Harry was eventually born."</p><p>"Thanks, Sirius."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Birth of Harry Potter as told By Sirius Black with Addendum by Remus Lupin

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in an alternate timeline where Remus doesn't transform in Prisoner of Azkaban, Peter is caught and Sirius's name is cleared.

It had been the best birthday Harry Potter could remember. He turned fourteen just as Sirius's motorcycle passed by the moon. His Godfather had picked him up from the Dursley's ten minutes before midnight, sending Hedwig and Harry's trunk ahead with a loud pop that made Uncle Vernon swear.

They touched down in a large grassy field. A chorus of "Harry!"'s greeted him as Ron, Hermione, and a cavalcade of Weasleys all rushed the bike. Remus was there first though clapping Harry on the shoulder and admonishing Sirius for not forcing him into a helmet. They had Cake and butter beer and more presents than Harry had received in the last 13 birthdays combined. Hagrid showed up at 12:30, baring a card from Dumbledore and several rock cakes of his own baking. Fred and George surreptitiously slipped a bag marked WWW into Harry's hands with a warning not to show their mother. Ron  gave him another sneakiscope and Hermione a book of quiddich plays. There were several unmarked presents that he suspected came exclusively from Sirius. Harry's godfather had more money than any normal person knew what to do with.  Sirius, however, was always full of ideas. Right now they centered almost exclusively on spoiling his godson.

At 2 o'clock, Mr and Mrs Weasley went to bed, insisting that Ginny go too. To everyone's  shock Fred and George followed soon after with the excuse that they had "things" in the morning. That left Harry, Ron and Hermione to gaze up at the stars with Remus and Sirius. They talked for a bit but soon settled into a comfortable silence.

Until Sirius said "You know technically, Harry, you were supposed to be born next week."

"What?" Harry and Ron spoke in unison. Remus laughed.

"That was a weird night," he said, leaning on Sirius's shoulder.

"You were there?" Hermione asked and leaned forward.

Sirius nodded. "Both of us. Don't know what Moony's whining for though. All he had to do was fight some Death Eaters. I was the one stuck with Lily and Mr. Early Riser over there."

Harry grinned.

"Seven Death Eaters and James," Remus said, "Absolutely lost his mind."

"Delivering a baby with Lily shouting at me wins," Sirius said. He gave Harry a fond smile. "I was the first person to hold you, you know."

A warm pleasant feeling swelled in Harry's chest. "What happened?"

Sirius leaned forward with a smile. "Alright," he said, "but I shall leave out the more graphic details as well as your mother's unconscionable mouth. You are only fourteen."

Remus nodded. "Ron, you might also avoid mentioning we told this story to your mother."

Ron snorted, "I'm not quite that stupid, thanks, professor."

"Good lad," Sirius nodded. "So, the story of Harry Potter's Birth as narrated by Sirius Black with addendum from Remus Lupin. We were all in the old flat. Not Godric's Hollow but the place Moony and I got after graduation. Lovely place, very cramped. Lily, heavily pregnant, had taken a leave of absence from active order duty. She was trying to teach me some pretty advanced potion making so I could take over for her when you lot went into hiding."

***

Lily was gorgeous. She had always been quite pretty but pregnancy amplified it. Sirius thought it was probably due to how annoying she found the whole process. She hated the swollen ankles, the forbidden foods, James's fussing and everyone trying to touch her stomach. Lily looked spectacular when she was pissed which was probably the main reason Prongs had fallen so hard. He always caused the majority of her ire.

  
Sure, the new life inside her might have something to do with her current glow but Sirius liked to think it was because he pissed her off.

"Now that the distractions are out of the way," she said, glaring at the door James and Remus just disappeared behind, "Please remember that the polyjuice potion is highly volatile and difficult to brew so using it for anything outside the order would be incredibly dangerous and irresponsible even for you."

"No turning myself into a lady just to see her gibbly bits." Sirius mimed writing lines in the air, "got it, Professor."

"Good." Lily said. "Polyjuice takes about a month to brew and its dead useful so you'll want to have a cauldron going pretty much all the time. First-" she winced, sucking in a hard breath.

Sirius jumped to immediate attention. "What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said, bracing herself on the counter. "It's- ah Fuck!"

"I'll get Prongs-"

"No," she said squeezing out a smile, "They're just fake contractions- braxton hicks they're called. I was up half the night with them."

"Shouldn't we-"

"No. The baby isn't coming until August 6th and you are learning the Polyjuice- Merlin's sagging tit!" She bit a muffled scream into her lip. "You are learning the polyjuice if it kills me."

"Do you want to lie down?" Sirius asked with a glance back at the kitchen door.  Then, in one awful instant, he heard a shout and saw a flash of green light. He spared only a glance to Lily. She gripped her wand tight and waited, biting her lip against the pain.

Another loud crack and his cousin's voice shouting "Crucio" followed by James's scream of pain made Sirius's stomach drop. Lily started for the door.

  
She came out stunning, knocking Bellatrix into the wall.  "James!" She shouted, barely paying attention the curses Sirius only just managed to block.

"He's okay!" Remus knelt next to James, already trying to sit up. His glasses has broken. He blinked  stupidly at Lily before realizing he was angry.

"Lily, get out of here!"

"And leave you to get blown up?!" Lily demanding casting an errant body bind on a death eater without looking. "If anyone's killing you, James Potter, it'll be me."

James retorted by stunning another death eater. He struggled up to his feet, turning to Sirius with frantic, pleading eyes. "Padfoot, get her the hell out of here!"

***

 _Lily, take Harry and go!_ His father's voice, the only sentence Harry could remember him saying, suddenly burst into Harry's mind. He wished he could remember something else about him, not just second hand knowledge from those who'd known him. Still, his parents had been brave and they had loved him. It wasn't enough but it was something at least.

  
"Alright, Harry?" Remus asked softly. Harry wondered if his former teacher was also remembering the dementors. For the life of him, Harry couldn't remember if he ever told Sirius what he heard when they were around.

"Yeah," he said, shaking himself. "Go on, then."

"Alright," Sirius said, with a quick glance at Remus. "So, I grab Lily, who does not pull punches where I am involved, mind. If she hadn't been pregnant and dueling death eaters at the same time I might not have made it out alive. We get to the back porch and there's three more of them waiting for us."

"Who?" Ron asked.

Sirius shrugged. "No idea. They always wore masks. I only recognized Bellatrix's voice."

"Lucius Malfoy was there." Remus said. "James stuck him with a nice bat boogey curse after you left."

Harry felt a sudden surge of satisfaction and closeness to his father.

"Good on James," Sirius smiled approvingly. "Anyway, I'm trying to blast our way out and Lily's blasting her way back in when suddenly she stops. I thought she got hit with something but she grabs my arm and says "Sirius, it's happening."

"Blimey," Ron said, his blue eyes wide.

"Yes," Sirius agreed, pausing dramatically.

"Why didn't you apparate to the hospital?" Hermione asked.

"Cos you can't apparate after the sixth month," Ron said. "Can't fly or use floo either, it'll hurt the baby." He shrugged at Hermione's stare. "What? You think my mum never told us anything about babies? Granted most of it comes out when she's yelling."

"Ron's right," Remus agreed. "Even a side along would have put both Lily and Harry at serious risk."

"Alright," Hermione said, apparently over the novelty of Ron knowing something she didn't. "So what happened?"

"Well, not to give anything away but Harry was eventually born."

"Thanks, Sirius."

"Alright..."

***

  
"What the hell do you mean it's happening?!" Sirius had never heard his voice go that high. "You said they were fake contractions! Fake!"

"My water just broke, you ass! Stupi-fuck me! Goddamn it!"

"Protego!" Sirius shouted, casting temporary protection around them.

Lily was half bent over, clutching her stomach."Please, Harry, not now. Not yet!"

 "We've got to go," he said, trying to keep calm, "Come on, Lily."

"James?" Lily said in a plaintive voice. He had never seen her look so scared.

"He'll be along," he swallowed hard. "Can you run?"

She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed very hard, nodding. The shield shimmer and dropped and they ran.

Sirius alternated between casting shield after shield and lobbing body binds at the Death eaters. Lily, for all her terrifying strength, could not run far. They made it down half the block before kicking the door in of the nearest muggle flat. It was mercifully empty. Sirius had just enough presence of mind to grab a blanket before shoving Lily into the nearest room with a locking door. He cast the protection spells by muscle memory. Sirius's mind was a blur of panic. The baby was coming. Death Eaters were chasing them and the baby was coming.  They'd left James injured and Remus fighting because Death Eaters were chasing them and the baby was coming.

"Lily," he stopped at took a quick inventory of their surroundings. It was a bathroom, mercifully. He grabbed as many towels as he could, not quite sure what to do with them. "Lily, what do we do?"

She stared at him as if he'd grown an extra dick on his forehead. "Sirius, do you actually think I've got any experience with this?"

"Well, didn't you and Prongs take a class or something?" He pushed his fingers through his hair.

"Right," Lily nodded, "We start with breathing."

"Real back to basics class, was it?"

"Sirius!"

"Sorry- yes, right, very serious," she glared at him. Sirius swallowed. "Sorry. I'm very uncomfortable right now."

"You're uncomfortable?!" Lily hissed, "You sodding-"

"You can shout if you like, I put up a silencing charm."

She let loose with absolutely the most spectacular string of epithets Sirius had heard since he left his mother's house. He almost forgot the danger around them in the cacophony of language erupting from the soon to be mother. Lily started with him of course, the "stupidest bloody fuck arsehole of all the stupid bloody fuck arseholes in that rim job of a social circle" but quickly moved on to Voldemort "some noseless snake fucker who thinks his inbred arse can come after my goddamn baby" and  wizard society at large "sorry my parents can't change motherfucking hedgehogs into motherfucking pincushions because there's such a damn shortage!"

***

"Padfoot, you're confusing Lily's rants." Remus said with a fond smile

"I am not," Sirius said with a sniff. "It was a greatest hits montage."

"Then what happened?" Harry said pointedly.

"She calmed down a bit." Sirius said, "made me grab her some muggle pain meds, little candy things in bottles-"

"We know what pills are," Hermione said. Ron shrugged.

"Well according to Lily they were down right useless." Sirius continued. "The thing about birth is that it’s very exciting at the beginning and the end but there's a lot of down time in between. A lot of waiting around-"

_Lily, James is my best mate, I am not going to finger his wife just before his baby's born!_

"We did some of that breathing stuff,"

_You need to check how fair I'm dilated so I know when to push, you prat!_

  
"I strengthened the wards"

_Push? We can't just accio baby or something?_

"But really it was all pretty boring compared to the start."

_"Really?! You want to summon a living bowling ball straight through my internal organs?! God damn you, Black, I knew you'd get me killed one day!_

"Then there you were."

***

  
Lily frightened was an awful sight. She paled. Beads of sweat rolled down her face, tears on her cheeks. "I can't-" her voice was hoarse from screaming, "Please, Sirius, I can't."

  
"Yes, you can," he said, nearly as terrified. "Yes, Lily, you can do this. Just a couple more big ones, alright? You're doing really well."

Lily squeezed her eyes shut and screamed. She had wound up sitting on the toilet with Sirius crouching in front of her. He tried to convince himself he was only catching an incredibly fragile quaffle but it wasn't working. He felt sick.

"Where's James?" Lily asked in a terrifyingly soft voice. She'd started asking for him a while ago. Sirius didn't know if the pain was messing with her head or just the worry.

"He's coming. I promise you, he's on his way. Him and Moony." They had to be coming. Sirius had no way of knowing where they were, what happened after he and Lily escaped the flat, but they were coming. The alternative didn't bare thinking. Certainly not with Lily like this.  "We owe him a good baby, yeah? C'mon, Lily, one more. Just one more big one? One two-"

She pushed, shouting again as she did it. A mop of wet hair plastered to a little brown ball appeared before him. "Lily!" Sirius said, utterly amazed. "Lily, we've got a head!"

Her green eyes flashed with sudden awareness. "Is it alright? Is he okay?"

"He's great. It's a beautiful head. Can't wait to see the rest of him. One more, Lily. One more push alright?"

Lily nodded. Sirius counted her down again and she pushed without screaming, only a sharp grunt of determination. The baby slide out into Sirius's waiting hands. He never felt something so heavy and so fragile in all his life. Sirius cut the umbilical cord with a flick of his wand and stood utterly entranced by the new person in his arms. A high cry broke the silence as Harry opened his mouth for the first time in his life.

"Is he alright?" Lily asked. "Sirius? Is he alright?!"

Sirius blinked. "He's brilliant, Lily. Ten fingers, ten toes, great bloody set of lungs. He's beautiful." He glanced back at her. Lily leaned back on the towels Sirius had used to make her more comfortable. Her hair stuck to her face, soaked in sweat. She looked like she was about to pass out, except for the soft smile of relief. "You both are."

"Let me see him?" She said. Sirius knelt beside her, carefully transferring the baby into her arms. Harry squirmed a little, wailing.

Sirius suddenly thought of his brother. A black haired boy like this one, squalling in his mother's arms before being passed over to a house elf. Sirius had asked what was the matter. _He is cold, Master Sirius,_ the house elf- damned if he could remember her name. _Babies is always cold._

"Accio towel," Sirius said, pointing his wand to a clean one. They wrapped Harry up as best they could, bathing him with gentle strokes of the wash cloth. They didn't speak to each other, just took turns shushing Harry.  Sirius brought her a glass of water and Lily looked at him for the first time since he handed her her son.

"Thank you, Sirius. For being here. I don't- I'm glad you were here."

"Yeah," Sirius nodded. "Yeah, of course, Lily."

She smiled and looked to the door. "You think James-"

"He'll find us." Sirius said. "I can take Harry, if you want to sleep."

"Yeah," she said, breaking her eyes from the door. "I doubt I can move much right now."

Sirius helped her down onto a nest of towels in the corner. Lily leaned against him, dozing off almost instantly. Sirius held Harry as steady as he could, his heart racing. He had never felt so inadequate and responsible at the same time.  Merlin but he wished James and Remus were here. Peter too, he was good with babies. It would take all five of them to give Harry the life he deserved.

He had an awful feeling they would fall terribly short.

***

"And you were covered in this weird wispy hair. Remus looked it up, what was it called?"

"Lanugo," Remus said. "It keeps the fetus warm in the womb. Lots of newborns have it. It falls off in a few days."

"And that's why we call you Harry." Sirius said solemnly.

Ron snorted. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Lily and James had your name picked out months in advance." He said to Harry. "Your godfather exists under the delusion that he's funny."

"I am objectively hilarious." Sirius said. "Anyway, James would've done if they hadn't already decided."

"What happened to you and Dad?" Harry asked Remus. In the few months he had known his godfather, Harry had found any attention to Sirius's jokes only encouraged them.

"Ah," Remus said. "Well, there was a fight. There were lots of fights back then. Death eaters popped up everywhere. Your dad was a excellent duelist though. He always worked best with when his adrenaline was pumping."

Sirius nodded. "Made him brilliant at Quidditch."

"Right. That and protecting you and your mum let him shake off  Bellatrix's curse. Once Sirius got Lily out, James could focus on fighting. Of course, most of the Death Eaters went after them."

Sirius looked sharply at Remus. "I didn't know that."

The scarred man shrugged. "You had other things on your mind at the time. Afterwards, we all did."

Hermione let out a sudden gasp. Harry and Ron stared at her and she blushed a little. She leaned forward like she'd just figured out the answer in potions class. "Was she targeted because of-"

"Yes, I think so." Remus said. "You Know Who would definitely see her pregnancy as a weakness rather than the strength it was."

Sirius made a disgusted noise and took another swig of butterbeer.

"Lily had a target on her back years before that though." Remus said musingly. "She was helping The Order long before the rest of us, before graduation. In many ways, she was our greatest asset." He smiled softly. "She was a threat, both practically and ideologically. A muggle born witch powerful enough thwart him, not just survive the encounter but to defy him. James and Sirius were blood traitors, I'm sure they'd have been fine bonuses, but Lily was the target."

"And you, credit where due." Sirius said but Remus shook his head.

"A half blood werewolf whom Greyback thought he was recruiting? Barely worth the trouble." He frowned slightly at some uncomfortable memories. "Any way when Lily and Sirius went, the death eaters followed and James and I went after them. We took down a couple, Malfoy, Sabine,"

"On a muggle street?" Ron asked. "Wouldn't that violate the secrecy statute?"

"It did," Remus agreed. Sirius snorted.

"Only way to get the aurors to show up in those days." He said, with a dark look. "You'd have thought Voldemort was running a press campaign rather than a genocide."

Remus nodded, more sad than angry. "We suspected half of them were with You Know Who anyway, but we needed all the help we could get. James was beside himself when Peter and Moody got there."

Harry only just recognized the look of rage that passed his godfather’s handsome face at the mention of Peter Pettigrew. Sirius never mentioned the fourth Marauder if he could avoid in because Pettigrew was responsible for Sirius's twelve year absence in Harry's life.  He forgot, sometimes, that before he'd betrayed them to Voldemort, Pettigrew had been his parent's friend.

No sooner had the thought crossed Harry's mind then Ron said, "Mad Eye Moody?" And Sirius chuckled.

"Best not call him that to his face, Ron." Remus said with a knowing smile.

"It fits though, doesn't it?" Sirius said. "You saw him at the trial, Harry. Big bloke, peg leg, great bulbous blue eye?"

Harry nodded. Mad Eye Moody's testimony boiled down to admitting Peter Pettigrew was obviously a death eater but that didn't mean Sirius wasn't.

"Dad talks about him," Ron said, "Reckons he's a bit cracked."

"Perhaps," Remus said, "but at the time we believed he was one of the few aurors we could trust. We'd lost sight of Lily and Sirius and without anything to fight James was frustrated."

***

James paced irritably back and forth in the yard. The whole flat looked like it had been caught up in a tornado but Remus had neither the patience or the possibility of fixing it. The ministry had just placed the final touches on the memory charms to convince the muggles a gas line exploded. They'd attempted to question him and James but Remus had insisted on Moody before James could start hexing again.

James swore loudly and continued pacing.

"They're alright," he said, his voice still hoarse from the fight. "They'll keep each other safe, you know that."

"Yeah," James agreed begrudgingly. There was no one on earth James trusted more than his wife and his best mate. That wasn't the same as not worrying though, and there was the baby to think about too.

"James! Remus!" The posh voice of the fourth Marauder broke through Remus's thoughts.

"Peter," he said, and caught his friend in a brief, tight hug.

When Peter let go his small mousey face was worried. He glanced back between Remus and James. "Are you alright? What happened? Where's Lily? Sirius?"

"If we knew we wouldn't be here!" James snapped.

"Right, sorry," Peter said. He looked a bit frightened to speak to James again.

Remus took over. "Death Eaters attacked the flat. We're fine but Lily and Sirius escaped and now we can't find them."

"Right," Peter said, and nodded again. "Well, that's good, isn't it?"

"What." James said in a passable imitation of Remus at the full moon.

"Just-" Wormtail floundered and recovered himself. "Sirius was always good at getting away, at hiding-"

He was. Years of practice with his nightmarish family made Sirius adept at ferreting out the places he would be safest the longest.

Remus could see James following the same logic. For the first time since the death eaters attacked, his brow unfurrowed just a bit. "Yeah," he nodded, messy black curls bouncing on his forehead. "Yeah, thanks, Pete."

Peter shrugged. "If you don't know where they are, I'd lay even odds the death eaters don't either."

"Did I hear you right, Potter?" Alister Moody's raspy voice made Remus jump. He had no idea how a man that size could move so quietly but it unnerved him. "You let Black drag Evans off to parts unknown with Death Eaters attacking." 

James bristled. "Yeah, Moody, my best friend protected my wife. Been married nearly a year now."

Moody snorted. "And I supposed you exhausted all possibilities, eh, Potter? Shouted all up and down the street?"

"Yes," said James through clenched teeth. Remus and Peter glanced at each other.

"Every locator spell in the book?"

"Yes." And there were the fists. "They bounce back."

"Sirius will have put up wards," Remus said, putting a hand on James's shoulder. Punching Moody's other eye out wouldn't help anything. "That's the first thing he's have done." And the wards would stay up until Sirius took them down or until... Something happened that neither Remus nor James wished to think about.

"Fair," Moody admitted. "Did you summon a patronus?"

"What?"

"A patronus, Potter," Moody said, "send one after them."

"Why would-" Peter started but James answered before the question could leave his lips.

"Patronuses can deliver messages to specific people," James said, a new glint in his hazel eyes. "Death eaters can't intercept it."

"Unless there's some-"

"If they're anywhere near Lily that's all the more reason to fine them!" James snapped. He closed his eyes, concentrating on a good memory, and waved his wand. "Expecto Patronum!"

A brilliant, glittering stag burst from the tip. It paused briefly, then looked at James. "Find Lily and Padfoot," He instructed. "Tell them we're coming."

The stag galloped out into the muggle street. They followed, James then Remus with Peter and Moody close behind. Remus heard the other auror's shouting about secrecy statutes and memory charms and corralling the witnesses but they felt very dim and far away. The sun had set over an hour ago and, as they followed the stag down the dim road, Remus thought he saw each of the street lamps blink into darkness.

"There," Peter shouted, pointing up to a flash of silver disappearing into an unassuming flat. James darted inside, barely pausing to force open the door.

"Keep a watch, yeah?" Remus said to Peter and Moody. "They might've followed."

Peter nodded and Moody, to Remus's shock, didn't argue. He drew his wand and followed James's shouting through the house.

"Lily!" James had stopped in the hallway, watching his patronus. He looked around the empty room, helpless, hands in his hair. "Lily!"

Remus glanced around the empty room, a bathroom, a little lived in but not untidy. He thought he could feel the static of magic on the edge of his awareness but perhaps that was just his own desperation. "Sirius," his voice still hurt to use. "Sirius, it's us. Let the wards down."

There was silence. Then a flicker. Then Sirius and Lily were there. The enchantments were gone and they were there. Remus thought he might collapse. Sirius stood, wand drawn, holding something in his other arm. He looked haggard and terrified. He was the most beautiful person Remus ever saw. Lily was resting against the bath tub, glistening with sweat. She must have been sleeping before they got there. Her eyes went immediately to James and stayed there. He pointed his wand at them the moment they stepped forward, warningly.

"Padfoot, what-"

"Questions," Sirius said, "Gotta confirm who-"

"You can't be-" James started.

Then the bundle in Sirius's arms moved. It cooed. James stopped dead it his tracks.

"Sirius," he paled visibly, "Sirius, is that-"

Sirius's hand shook so hard his wand wobbled. "Fourth year," he said.

"That's our baby," James said, looking past Sirius to his wife. Lily nodded. She was crying.

"Fourth year, what did I get you for your birthday?" Sirius said, still pointing the wand at James's chest. "Please, Prongs."

James looked for a moment like he wanted to hit Sirius, wands be damned. "Detention," he said, softening. "Two Niflers, actually, and we got caught sneaking them into the Slytherins locker room. Remus and Peter had to fake a fist fight in front of McGonagall's office to join us."

Sirius looked so relieved Remus thought he might fall over. James crossed the space between them and took the offered child.

"I'm sorry-" Sirius said in a strangled whisper just as James started thanking him. They embraced, James weeping again Sirius's neck. Then he went to Lily and left Sirius to face Remus.

"I don't remember our question." Remus admitted. Sirius had stopped shaking. His wand point at Remus.

"Your niece," Sirius prompted.

"I don't have a-" the memory popped suddenly back. "Second year. Before I knew you knew about me, I invented a niece I had to visit on full moons."

"What was her name?"

"Athena." Remus smiled. "You lot let me talk about her for weeks and you, Sirius Black, are still mocking that name."

"Went with the first thing that popped out of your head." Sirius grinned.

Then he was hugging Remus closer than he ever had before. Remus's fingers curled around broad shoulders and slid up his neck to his face, checking for injuries. All the anxiety and fear of the last few hours came bursting to the surface.

"Moony." Sirius said. He didn't say anything else. He was crying.

"Are you hurt?" Remus asked finally. There was blood on his shirt but most of it was likely Lily's, given what they'd just done.

"No," Sirius lied. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Remus had been hit a few times but werewolves, even untransformed werewolves, bounced back faster than normal humans.

"God, Remus," Sirius said, and kissed him softly.

 _There._ Remus thought. There was Sirius. Fear, distrust, the miscommunication that plagued them for the last year disappeared the moment Sirius's lips touched his. They were safe when Sirius kissed him. Nothing could touch them.

"I thought-" Sirius whispered against his lips. Whatever Sirius had thought was cut off by James.

"We should get to the hospital," he said, "get Lily and Harry checked out."

"I'll tell Peter to bring the car," Remus said.

He looked back to the little family. They made a very pretty picture. Lily rested her head on James's shoulder watching him hold baby Harry. James stared wide eyed at his son. He kept mumbling something to the boy: little baby nothings that parents said, Remus supposed. Promises maybe.

Sirius slid his arm around Remus's waist. They walked out together. The house seemed somehow larger than when they were searching. Sirius stayed as close as possible without climbing on top of him.

"Merlin, Moony," he said, in a hollow sort of voice. "I kept thinking- Hours just wondering what I'd do if you never found us."

"You did well," Remus said. "You kept Lily safe, and Harry."

"I love you, Remus," Sirius said, just as Peter caught sight of them.

"Sirius," he said. "Thank fuck. Is Lily-?"

"She's okay," Sirius said, never letting go of Remus's waist. "Her and the baby ought to go to the hospital though and get checked out."

"Baby?!" Peter's jaw dropped. Moody turned around.

"Bring the car up, would you, Pete?" Sirius said.

Peter squeaked and hurried out the door, dropping his wand in excitement. Moody gave them a hard look, regular and magical eye fixed on them, and said nothing. 

They stood there, silent, until Peter's car, a beat up volkswagon beetle, sputtered up the street. Then came Lily, carrying Harry, leaning on James. Moody looked her up and down. She smiled.

"Congratulations," he said in the least congratulatory voice Remus ever heard.

"Thanks," she said in a very weak voice. "Can you tell Dumbledore?"

Moody nodded and disapparated without another word. James turned Remus.

"Moony, can you grab some stuff from the house?" He said. "Just clothes and things for Lily, just in case."

"Of course."

"Thanks, mate." James looked at Sirius, one of their secret looks that Remus recognized but could never quite understand. He looked away. Remus had long since stopped being envious of James. It did hurt though, knowing that the people he cared for most didn't trust him anymore. Sirius let go of his waist.

"I'll apparate ahead to St Mungo's, let them know you're coming."

"Thanks, Padfoot." James said.

Sirius just nodded. He stepped forward, a slightly goofy smile coloring his handsome face as he peered down at his godson. "See ya, Harry," he whispered. Harry made no answer. Sirius grinned at Lily and kissed her forehead before apparating away again.

***

"The healers said it was a miracle," Remus finished. "A near perfect birth, considering the circumstances."

"You're welcome!" Sirius told Harry magnanimously.

Harry laughed.

"And now bed, I think." Remus said.

Harry had not quite realized how tired he was until Remus mentioned bed. Beside him, Ron yawned. Hermione blinked very hard and stood up shakily.

Sirius and Remus's house stood on top of a very small hill. Next to Hogwarts, Harry thought it was his very favorite building in the world. It was smaller than number 4 private drive but Harry had his own room, filled with his own things. Ron and Hermione had been given permission to sleep over for his birthday.  He felt a strange bit of pride in showing his friends into his room for the first time, especially when he saw that someone, Remus probably, had thought to add two extra beds.

No one said much after Remus and Sirius bid them goodnight and wished Harry another Happy Birthday. Neither Harry, Ron, nor Hermione bothered with pajamas.

"Wicked party," Ron said, just before he started to snore.

"Night, Harry," Hermione said, "Happy Birthday."

"Thanks," Harry said, stifling his own yawn.

Tired as he was, Harry stayed awake a few moments longer. He listened to muffled noise of Sirius and Remus washing up, their muffled voices speaking words he couldn't understand. He knew this house, however much he loved, wasn't really home. It couldn't really be home, not while Voldemort was still out there. He'd have to return to privet drive at least once a year until he stopped threatening Harry and everyone he loved.

Remus and Sirius though, they were home. Fourteen years after that fateful July evening, Harry Potter was back with his family.

***

While Harry Potter slept, his godfather sat in the window box, staring at nothing in particular. They'd chosen this house because it was out in the middle of nowhere. Since his stint in Azkaban, Sirius did not do well with people who weren't  Harry or Remus. He mistrusted the adults who'd left him to rot without so much as a trial and mistrusted himself to protect their children. Sirius had sworn up and down when he returned to Harry's life that he would not allow any further harm to come to the boy, to any of the children who now rested under his roof. He'd made that same promise to James and Lily fourteen years ago too.

Remus came and sat beside him. "Alright?" He asked.

"Fine," he said. He looked over at Remus, the only person he'd managed to forgive after Azkaban. The scared man dried his hands with a dish cloth. "It was a good party, wasn't it? He had fun."

"Yeah, he did." Remus agreed. "He's happy."

"Good," Sirius said.

They were quiet again for a minute. Then Remus said: "There's more to the story, isn't there? Something I haven't heard yet."

Sirius swallowed. There was always more, wasn't there? Always a circling vortex of more to deal with. "You know what happened," he said. "James asked me to preform the Fidelius, be secret keeper.."

_It's gotta be you, Sirius. You saved Lily's life today, Harry's too. It's obvious. It's gotta be you._

"And you told him to use Peter instead. "

Sirius nodded. An owl hooted out side but all Sirius heard was his own idiot voice of fourteen years ago. _can't go with the obvious, mate._

"It wasn't a bad plan, given what we knew." Remus said. "Fidelius is bound up in a living soul. When the secret keeper dies, it passes into the open again. You were never very good at playing it safe-"

"And Harry came first." Sirius said, nodding. "The minute I saw him, I wanted to protect him. Bang up job I did."

"He's happy," Remus said. "You made him happy tonight.

_I killed his parents. James trusted my judgement and it got him and Lily killed and Harry spent his childhood sleeping in a cupboard because of me._

Sirius wasn't sure if he'd spoken out loud because the next words out of Moony's mouth were: "Peter betrayed them, Sirius. Voldemort's the one who hurt Harry. They're to blame, not you. You came back for him."

_Twelve years too late._

"You came back to me," Remus said in a voice so quiet Sirius could hardly hear it over the pain in his head. "You fixed it, Sirius, as much as it could be fixed. He's happy because of you. Don't doubt that."

"Remus." He didn't flinch when Sirius finally looked at him, just waited for a moment while Sirius struggled passed his guilt, "I love you."

He had said it back then, fourteen years ago. It was true. Even if he'd been convinced that Remus was the spy, Sirius loved him. Then it had been a plea.

_Please I love you. Please don't do this to us. I love you. Don't do this because I love you._

Now it was a prayer of gratitude for forgiveness he didn't deserve. Though Remus would say there was nothing to forgive.

Remus smiled softly. His hand rested on Sirius's cheek. "I love you," he said. "Let's go to bed."

Sirius let Remus guide him up to the room they shared. Remus kissed his neck gently as they undressed. "It was a good night," he said and, there with Remus Lupin's arms around his shoulders, Sirius could just believe that love was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Aw why can't I leave things nice?


End file.
